28.1.05

The given circumstances

Ok, so let me tell you: I'm currently in Portugal, but that wasn't the case a while ago. Sometimes i look back on my past two years and i have to pinch myself. So, here's the story: I'm an actor. I've never really wanted to do anything else. Well, there was a time when i wanted to become an astronaut, but soon i realised that the portuguese space program was a bit delayed. The i wanted to become a director. A film director. But then i realised that the cinema industry over here was a bit behind as well. Nowadays, everythings different. Well, not THAT different, but different, after all, a couple of decades have passed. And what have i done throughuot those couple of decades? Well, i've decided to become an actor. Now i realise that maybe i shouldn't have done it the way i did. After all, now i realise that there are other ways of becoming an actor that don't necessarily have to do with studying acting. Well, but i did it that way. I was a part of every amateur theatre group that i could through my high school years. And, when i was 17, i was accepted at this theatre course where only people above 18 could participate... And on my first day there, i finally told them that i was 17. And they said that they would hide that from the inspectors. So, my first try at acting in real life. Well, not really, but it's something like a prophecy, isn't it? So, done that six months course, i tryed to get into the conservatory, not without before that, doing my first professional show at the age of 17 at the Teatro da Trindade, in Lisbon So then i tried to get into the Conservatory. I was the first one to put in my name there for the tests. And on the day of the test, the trin got late and when i got there, all the students where already being tested, so i got down on my knees in front of a teacher and she let me get there on the next day. I did my tests and i got in! Then there where three years of complete mess in my mind. I just though and had the feeling that everybody else thought as well that i wasn't made for it. Oh, in the meantime, i did a workshop with this ex-teacher from The Lee Strasberg theatre and Film Institute called Marcia Haufrecht. and then i discovered the method. And i kept on dreaming about studying it. So, back to the Conservatiory, that is the Superior School of Theatre and Cinema of Lisbon, i got through. And i though: now i'm going to sell pizzas or something. But no. Destiny was on my side as it has always been ( yes, i am a very lucky bastard... ) and one of my teachers invited me to do a show in his company. And there i started. Haja Harmonia. It was a crazy musical, i'm not very proud of my work there, but there wasn't that much to regret anyway. I did only a very small role. A prison guard. ( I know, there are no small roles, only small actors... ) then i did an audition for this theatre play to be directed by the catalan theatre group Els Comediants ( they're great! ) And i got it! One of the works i'm most proud of till this day. I did this really dumb guy who only wished he was as bad as the bad guys he got along with.... But he just couldn't although he tried really hard. Then, The Expo 98. Great times for this country. And i was there, in the Peregrination event. A daily show that run across alll the area of the expo. Great times.... Then i had no work in the theatre and i was an emplyee for three months at the Valentim de Carvalho record store at the Gare do Oriente near the expo area. It wasn't bad. I got to know a lot of music! Wich i love. t was only then that i realised that there's no way i'm ever going to read or listen to all the music i want.... And then... I went to the Teatro da Trindade again, to do some work guiding school groups on the visit to the theatre. Wich was a lot of fun. And then, an audition that would mark me till this day: Romeo and Juliet. First the director wanted me, then he didn't,, then we started having comunication problems. He told me to do things one way wich i didi and then he would tell me that it wasn't that way. I was completely lost. And one day, he asked me if i was there for the money or for the project. I was honest. I told him: for the money. He complimented my honesty and fired me. I was in shock. It was the first time i was fired from something. And even more. I was fired because i told the truth! My insecurities jumped to red, i felt i had hit the bottom. And then, someone grabbed my hand and invited me to do a play. Abril Futebol Clube. I was more than thrilled. The thing is, i have to act. I need it like breathing. I know i can do anything else, but i just don't feel that i'm using my full potential if i'm not acting. If you want to keep me happy, keep me acting! Oh! I'm getting tired of writing.... I think i'll let you read this first and then i'll come back with part II, ok?

Big hugs,

Alexandre Ferreira

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